Nigerian model and singer Miss saHHara (pictured above - who was born
male) claimed in an article yesterday to mark the Transgender Day of
Remembrance that she was harassed and jailed in Nigeria for being a
transgender and even attempted suicide but is now proud and free.
Miss SaHHara writes...
I am standing in front of the mirror looking at my reflection. Tears of joy trickle down my rouged cheek before going on stage.
I am in tears because I just can’t believe how realistic my dreams have become. I am a woman! Living my life freely. Accepted and respected for my achievements as a model and a performer.
My fellow transgendered sisters and brothers paved this way for me.
They fought for acceptance, understanding and respect. Some died while
fighting for what they believed in and others fell before their time due
to hate, rejection and society’s unfairness. Every single story gave me
strength to fight on and never to give up.
I wish I could tell the younger me who tried to commit suicide twice that life gets better and dreams come true.
I did not imagine life could be this amazing many years ago after being
released from a horrid Nigerian prison for being different. Then all I
could think was I could die in this prison and no one will know or care.
Being imprisoned felt justifiable, considering I was being punished for
being ‘gay’ – something they assumed due to my feminine features and
mannerisms.
I wasn’t gay, I am a woman born differently due to natural defects.
What I felt did not match my outward appearance, Being assigned male at
birth doesn’t make me a man or a woman, nobody was born a man or a
women, you develop into your preferred gender as you grow up. For me
that gender was female. I was born male but my brain, gestures, features
and carriage functioned as female.
Growing up and not knowing what was happening to my body made me
confused and lost. I couldn’t discuss it with my family because my
femininity was frowned on due to religion and I could not talk to my
friends because they would not understand what I was going through. I
found solace in music and dreams.
I dreamt of being free to be myself, free of insults, free of judgment and free from harassments.
That freedom came when I moved to the United Kingdom, finding girls
like me gave me hope of not being alone in my journey of self-discovery.
I found out what I went through growing up in Nigeria was quite common
with transgendered people. Having freedom, acceptance and knowledge are
the key most important elements to a successful transition.
Knowing I am not alone in my struggles helped me to reevaluate my views
on life and how I should go about my transition wisely. I researched my
transition and reconciled the conflicting emotions involved in the
process of accepting myself as the woman I am.
It is a lonely world during transition, as your body changes so do your
emotions, which leads the mind into the darkest path in life. If the
chemicals are not professionally controlled, you can feel suicidal due
to rejection from loved ones and society.
In life perfection doesn’t existent, but for me having the freedom to
be my true self feels almost perfect. As a black transgendered woman I
am faced with many daily challenges such as transphobia, a complicated
love life, poor career prospects and racism. But when I remember my life
history, these challenges become water under the bridge.
That is why I will always remember those who built this foundation for
freedom and knowledge. Also those who never got the chance to enjoy the
acceptance we have achieved so far.
Transgender Day of Remembrance today (20 November) is particularly
import to me because I have lost close friends to suicide and have seen
many more wishing to commit suicide as a final fix to their gender
dilemma and rejection by society.
The media is silent on the subject of transphobia and the effects it
has on young transgendered people of today, because they don’t see
transgendered people as ‘normal’ members of our community.
Remembering my fallen friends helps me to keep their memories alive. It
also encourages me to carry on the fight to be respected, understood
and accepted for whom I am.
I dream of a world where we are given some sort of understanding and
tolerance to live peacefully as able, intelligent fellow human beings
who make positive contributions to society.
Transgendered people are human too. We are your brothers, your sisters,
your children, your friends and your lovers. Stop the hate!
No comments:
Post a Comment