Ever wonder why you seem to care more than your man does about the relationship?
According to IndianExpress,
a new study claims that women immerse themselves in their romantic
relationships, while men place their romantic partners on an equal but
distant footing. This study shows that generally, women appear to be
more invested in their relationships than men and that their happiness
and well-being is more dependent upon how things are going in their
intimate relationships. Is this a surprise to you? It's not a surprise to me.After all, who is usually the one who recognizes when things in the relationship aren't working too well? The woman. Who is it that typically seeks professional help with the relationship? The woman. Who is it that mostly spends time on YourTango, reading self-help books and going to seminars about relationships? Women. Why is it this way?
You may ask yourself, "How can I change him? How can I make him more involved in this relationship?" I say, you shouldn't — so don't even try. InsideoutEmpowerment tells us that we have five basic needs. We all have them; the strength of each is unique to each individual and they appear to be genetically programmed. That's not to say that circumstances, culture, stage of development and other factors don't impact the experience of these needs, but we are wired with a genetically determined profile that stays fairly stable throughout our lives.
A relationship destroyer is looking at your partner, deciding he/she is deficient in some way and then attempting to "make" him/her different. It's not that people can't change; they can, it's just that they won't do it just because you want them to change!
The simple fact is: men and women are different. They tend to have different benefits in relationship but they are both interested in intimacy. Young adult women tend to be most focused on their need for connection. This manifests in having children, creating homes and nurturing their intimate relationships. That's not to say women don't have careers. They do, but most prioritize these connecting activities.
Most young adult males are focused on their need for significance. They are interested in making their way in the world and having an impact. This is not to say they don't have relationships, start families and create homes. They do, but their priority is typically focused on work.
This tends to shift in middle age as children leave home. Women believe they have invested and sacrificed for their family and now it's their turn. They go back to school, change careers or develop their own businesses. At this same stage of life, men tend to realize their children are gone and they missed a lot. They are tired of the rat race and are primed for connection. So, in a lot of ways, men and women flip roles.
Recognize the differences. Embrace the differences. And appreciate what you both bring to your relationship (and don't forget to tell each other of your appreciation). Allowing each person to be who they are and celebrating that will do the best job I know to increase the intimacy in your relationships.
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